False Advertising

This sign hangs in our kitchen. At the moment it's a bit of false advertising. Oh, it's "clean" in that it isn't "dirty", but it is messy. The bane of my existence is the island in the kitchen. It doesn't matter how often I clean it off during the day, it is always covered with stuff again in minutes. School papers, bills, books, a bag of Goldfish (crackers), keys, magazines, all flock to the kitchen island as if pulled by some kind of magnetic force field. The only scary part is where would all this stuff go if we didn't have a kitchen island?

PS - Not to worry, our soap making operation is in our 1500 sq. ft. fully finished, hardwood floored, fireplaced, basement. Free from any contact with the kitchen island.